So, the Bruins are in the playoffs. My fiance is a HUGE Bruins fan. I’ve mentioned in previous blog entries that the outcome of a Bruins game totally makes or breaks Tom’s mood. Currently, they are playing the Montreal Canadiens, and Tom DESPISES that team. When the Bruins lose to the Canadiens, it’s equal to someone ripping Tom’s heart out of his chest and eating it in front of him. The Bruins lost the first two games, both of which Tom watched out in the living room. He superstitiously decided to watch the third game in the bedroom, which they won, so last night, he HAD to watch it in the bedroom. They weren’t doing so well in the beginning. Usually, I avoid looking at/talking to Tom when his team is losing. It’s just not worth the possibility of dying. But last night, when I began to hear guttural noises (much like the sound a dying cow would make) coming from the bedroom after the Canadiens took a 1-0 lead, I decided to try something a little different.
I went into the kitchen and made the best bowl of Macaroni & Cheese I was capable of making. I quietly walked into the bedroom and tried to waft the scent over to Tom without drawing too much attention to myself. Tom’s nostrils started to flare, and he whipped around to see me standing there. I looked down, avoiding eye contact. Without making any sudden movements, I gently placed the bowl on the bed. He growled. I stood terrified, motionless for a moment, one hand on the bowl, one foot outside the door, ready to make a quick exit if needed be. Keeping one eye on me, he slowly turned back to the television. I bravely nudged the bowl closer and slowly backed out of the room.
During the second period, the Bruins were still behind. I peeked my head around the doorway to see a slightly-less-psychotic-but-still-psychotic looking Thomas, and an empty bowl. I tiptoed in and grabbed the bowl. It’s best not to have anything around that can be easily thrown. I returned to the kitchen, washed the bowl, and immediately poured some Multi-grain Cheerios (Tom’s favorite). I timidly stepped back into the bedroom and handed him the Cheerios. He grunted. There was significantly less tension and bitterness in the room. The food seemed to be working. And, the Bruins tied it up 3-3.
During the third period, we were locked at 4-4, sending us into overtime. Fatigue was setting in (I’m talking about Tom – not the Bruins), and on top of the anxiety of overtime, this sent his mood spiraling again. The guttural noises returned. This was new territory. Overtime territory. A territory I was not really willing to venture into. From the hallway, I threw a bag of chips into the bedroom. I heard him tear the bag open and begin to ferociously devour the chips, like a starving wolf who had just found a slab of meat in the forrest. I felt scared, and helpless. The only thing I could do was sit in the hallway and throw small bags of gummi snacks in Tom’s general direction, and silently pray.
The Bruins scored one last goal and won the game, praise Jesus. If they hadn’t won, I may have been killed. So this week’s Good Thing is both the Bruins winning last night to tie up the series, and finding the key to happiness during playoffs – a steady and constant stream of food, combined with lack of eye contact & conversation, and slow, careful movements. You’re welcome, girls who are dating obnoxious hockey fans.